We asked our top child-development experts what children need most from their moms and dads. Their answers may surprise you.
Create Family Rituals:
It gives you and your child an opportunity to connect, no matter what else is going on.
Cooking a simple meal together, reading a
w88 live story every night, planting a garden, playing a favorite board game -- these are the kinds of rituals that kids love. Be creative: One father I know got into the habit of "shaving" with his 5-year-old son every morning, giving him foam and a toy razor. Another gets up early every Friday to take his daughter out to breakfast before they head off to work and school.
It doesn't really matter what your ritual is, as long as it's something you and your child both enjoy. It's important that you continue doing it, even when you're frustrated with your child. This isn't a privilege that you take away as a punishment. It's something sacred that you do, every night or every week or every month, as a way to connect.
Know Your Child's Personality:
The essence of being a great mom or dad is to really know your child's temperament and to tailor your parenting style to take that into account. Every kid is different -- even in the same family. If you understand each child's individual personality, and deal with that child in the way that suits him best, you'll minimize conflict.
Two simple examples: If you have a very active child, you should avoid roughhousing with him in the evenings, which makes bedtime difficult. Instead, have him do a quiet activity to help him calm down. Or maybe you have a child who has a difficult time with
m88 game. If so, you need to understand that giving her an advance warning when it's time to leave the playground will make the shift easier for her. The better you adapt to your child, the less conflict there will be.
Be A Good Role Model:
Every night, parents should ask themselves, "If my child had only my behavior to learn from today, what would I have taught him?" Probably the most common mistake moms and dads make is that we say one thing and do another. We give our children lectures on self-control and patience, and then explode when we get caught in traffic. We tell them not to gossip, and then turn around and do just that. We urge them to be honest, then let an 11-year-old order from a menu for kids under 10.
That's not to say parents have to be perfect. But when we fall down on the job, we need kids to learn from our mistakes. If you lash out at your child when you're feeling stressed out, for example, you should go back later and say, "I was wrong for yelling at you that way. I should have stayed calmer. I'm sorry." By doing so, you're teaching your child the importance of respect and forgiveness. If you're dealing with a challenging situation, you need to let your child see you're doing your best to cope. When you acknowledge the difficulty ("We're all worried because Daddy has lost his job, but everything will be okay"), you're showing your child that you can manage tough times -- and that will help him learn to do the same.
Encourage Exploration:
Kids love to explore; it's an essential part of how they learn. When parents constantly say "Don't do that" or "Stay away from this," children learn to be timid and fearful of the unknown. Children who get lots of positive feedback from their parents as they explore new things will go on to grab life by the horns.
The most important thing you can do is to make sure your child's world is conducive to exploration. First, childproof your home so that she can roam around without getting hurt. Then you need to pay attention to your daily routine, and make sure there's always new stuff for her to explore. Let her bang pots and spoons in the kitchen, and play with blankets made of different fabrics in the linen closet.
Introduce her to a variety of foods. Take her to libraries, parks, zoos, and art museums. If you encourage your child to be an active explorer as a baby and toddler, she will embrace learning throughout life.
Article:
M88 Parents Magazine
Apr 5 2018, 10:30 AM
